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When I met you, you looked like a thug. With your gold tooth and your swagger. With those tight black jeans and joggers. I looked at you and thought ‘that boy is going to fall in love with me’. You were like a challenge I had to tackle, a mystery, a tightly wound ball of string and with some prodding and prying I new I could find the end and unravel you between my fingers. It took time. It was slow dancing in the rain. It was everything I wanted it to be. I wondered how the universe could know to bring this little creature into my life. I rejoiced, I danced. I travelled and wondered. Like two flowers growing from between the cracks in the pavement in the shittiest suburb we could imagine, you said we were.

But I came unravelled. Slowly but surely a shadow replaced the dream I had been living in. I punched and kicked and fought. You bent and twisted before me. I became a horrid caricature of myself. I grew grotesque and monstrous. I could have torn my skin from my body if it had been possible. I always wanted to go back, but there is only so much you can withstand before it is gone for good. The search for that beginning, for the way things could have been, for where we deviated from the path consumed us, and in this we became more deeply entangled and lost then before. And now I sit across from you and all that history, those tears and punches and laughter and forgetting mean nothing and with the love gone we are just two bodies and this connection we had is nothing and this life I’d dreamt of is no more and you and me are strangers.


~ by k-rock and l-jive on August 8, 2008.

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