PUBLIC HEALTH WARNING

a jumbo, double-strength coffee on an empty stomach before an 8:00am public law lecture may seem like a good idea at first, particularly when one has had only a few hours sleep, however such a belief would in fact be a form of self-deception in the highest degree.

such consumption of caffeinated beverages may in fact result in the following symptoms:

– your usually smooth and useful fashion of typing is replaced by bursts of speedy, but irrational, unproductive and largely incorrect keystrokes

– your stomach will, after approximately 30 minutes, begin to make thunderous and unhealthy bellowing

– your concentration will, counter-intuitively, begin to lapse

– you will only be able to think about urinating… and, on account of dodgy kidneys or the copious amount of caffeine, the fact that it will have the distinct aroma of insufficiently processed coffee

to wit, rethink that early-morning, oversized coffee hit unless you’ve made the effort to get up 5 minutes earlier and eat something for breakfast.

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~ by k-rock and l-jive on August 20, 2008.

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